Surprise!
by SiriusStar674
Summary: The Marauders. It's James' birthday and Sirius is going at all lengths so cheer him up. What will he do? Involves Pollujuice Potion and a weird chose of underwear on Sirius' behave. Rated T for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Surprise! Chapter one: Double Potions

Prongs has been acting grumpy all day. He shouldn't be unhappy; it's his birthday for crying out loud! I know why he's grumpy. It's because Evans won't go out with him when he asked her this morning at breakfast, even after he told her its his birthday! Girls I don't know. Even that new broom his mother got him didn't cheer him up. And Prongs loves quidditch. Merlin I should know with how much time he spends flying on a bloody broomstick.

I have to make him happy. I've got to. And not just for his sake, I think Peter might cry if Prongs snaps at him one more time. Poor bloke.

But how exactly am I going to do this, Evans wouldnt go out with when asked so shed she probably won't dont on my accord. And Prongs wouldn't forgive if I made her go out with him via hex or love potion. But that there has to be something. I guess I'll have to keep thinking.

I glance at the clock on the wall. Oh damn I'm late for potions. Oh well, maybe I'll think of something during class.

Ive made to class just in the nick of time. But I missed breakfast though. Humph. A bloke can't simply skip a meal. Especially not this bloke. Never mind Prongs- now I'm upset.

Here comes ol' Sluggy now, time for two exedingly boring hours of potions with a teacher that resembles a walrus. Yay.

Oh here he goes. 'Blah blah blah turn to page 65, blah blah blah' Does the awesome Sirius Black really need to listen to this. I think not.

I lay my head brown the desk, trying to catch sone zzzz, with Slughorn droning on in the background. 'Blah Blah Blah Pollujuice Potion Blah Blah'-

Wait, did he just say Pollujuice Potion?

**Disclaimer: I only own the story line. **

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, there are still more chapters to come, my fellow chums x. **


	2. Chapter 2 The Plan

Chapter two: The Plan

Pollujuice potion. Its the perfect plan. Okay, it probably would be better with Moony's brilliant mind to assist me- but never mind.

So here the plan, all I have to do is get my has on a vile of the that potion. No way am I going make one myself; not that I couldn't if I tried, but that's more of Moony's expertise.

You must be wondering by now what I, the amazing Sirius Black, need a pollujuice potion for, but just bear with me my friends.

So my plan is that once I get this pollujuice potion, I will turn myself into Evans, and cheer my good mate Prongs up while pretending to be Evans. Because no one should be miserable on their birthday. I mean that's just sad. You know what I'm saying?

Now I realise for my genius plan to work, I am going to have to get my hands on Evans hair (not in that way, you dirty minded people) in order to be able to make myself into Evans. If anybody's wondering how I got this idea, you must know that I have a brilliant mind.

Right so, step one- wait till the end of potions before sneaking back in and getting a vile of that potion. Step two- sneak out again without being seen. Step three- get some lunch (well, a bloke's gotta eat, and I did skip breakfast after all- plus Mrs P says I should eat plenty anyway cause I'm a growing boy!).

Now I just have to endure this droning walrus for the next hour or so. What an exciting life I have. Oh here he goes again. On to the next potion. Blah blah blah. Why is it that I'm taking this class again?

I mean, I wouldn't mind but not even making potions today; just taking notes. I could be spending my valuable sneaking down to the kitchens, or shagging some girls in a broom closet. Prongs better be grateful for this.

This class is so boring, you probably wouldn't notice if I died in the back of the classroom. I can just see the headlines of the 'Daily Profit' now- 'The extremely handsome Sirius Black dies in back of Potions classroom'. There might even might even have something in the 'Quibbler'- 'Sirius Black dies in classroom, nargles are suspected to be behind it'.

All I have to do wait for this class to end. Yay.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter- I had a lot of fun writing it.x**


	3. Chapter 3 Get that potion

Chapter 3: get that potion

Yes! Finally Potions is over. Now can put my plan into action. Right, now how am I going to do this?

I pack away my empty notebook and my quill into my bag, and wait for the rest of the class to leave the room.

'You coming?' Moony calls from the doorway.

'You go ahead, I'll catch you up' he gives a strange look, because normally I'm the first one out the door and rushing to lunch. He shrugs it off and leaves. I guess I am acting a little strangely today. But its not every day that Sirius Black has an AWESOME idea. My friends are so lucky to have me.

Slughorn disappears into his office, giving me the perfect opportunity. I take an empty vile out of my bag, and quickly hurry over to the front of the classroom, where the potions are kept. I look into the cauldron with the Pollujuice potion in.

Ew. Its all green and lumpy, and looks a lot like vomit. And I have to drink this later. Great.

When I finally get to the Great Hall, Moony, Prongs and Wormtail are already half way through their lunch.

Prongs looks up from his lunch 'Where have you been?'

'Yeah, its not like you to stay behind from a lesson unless a teacher forces you to' says Moony, with a puzzled expression on his face.

'I, um, thought I might of dropped something when I blew our potion up last lesson, I was just checking' They seem to buy my excuse. Phew.

'oh' mumbles Prongs as he goes back to staring at his lunch. Looks like he's still down from the incident with Evans. Dunno why. I know he's been pining after her since he saw her, but seriously (ha-ha pun), she's just another bird.

'Come on Prongs, cheer up its your birthday' I say to try and lighten the mood. He just looks even more depressed. Fail. Prongs stands up and swings his bag over his shoulder.

'I'll see you guys later' he says, and walks out of the hall without another word. Okay, I knew he was upset, but I didn't realise that he was that depressed that he couldn't eat finish the rest of his lunch. Poor Prongsie. This plan of mine better work or I'll have a depressed bloke to deal with for the rest of the week. Won't that be fun.

The next step of my ingenious plan is to get a hair of that pretty little redhead. How the hell I supposed to do that?! Oh well, a bloke's gotta do what a bloke's gotta do. Now to get that hair. Evans will probably make sure I never have children if I just yank one of her head. Oh the joys of being me.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed that chapter. Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while, I've been really busy lately, but I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. Please R&amp;R! **


	4. Chapter 4 One hair if you please

Chapter 4; One red hair if you please

I have been looking at this map for ages. I think my eyeballs are going to fall out. If you are wondering what I am up to, you will remember that I am trying to get a hair. To be precise, a hair from Evans' head. At this currant moment she is in the common room surrounded by her _lovely_ best friend Alice Prewitt. Personally I always found that girl a bit dim. I mean please, she goes out with Frank Longbottom for goodness sake. I mean Frank's a good bloke, but he ain't the sharpest knife in the draw.

Well this is going to be fun. How am I even going to close to her without having my head bitten off? Come on Padfoot, we're doing this for Prongs, remember?

I walk down to the common room, and see Evans sitting by the fire with Prewitt. They're laughing about something- it better not be my Prongs! Actually I'll admit that I'm a hypocrite, I've laughed at Prongs loads of times.

'Why hello ladies' I say in my most smoothest voice possible.

'What do you want Black?' asks Evans coldly.

'Nothing, nothing at all' I say. She raises an eyebrow at me.

'Oh really?' she shoots back, hotly.

'Yes really' I say. Well I have her attention, but how am I going to get one of her hairs? It would look pretty strange f I just asked for one- Hey Evans, mind if I borrow one of your red locks?' I would look pretty stupid. No that won't do.

I have an idea.

'Hey Evans, can I have a hug?' I say. Okay, now she just looks confused. Well, I'm pretty sure any one would in that situation, to be perfectly honest.

'And just why would you want a hug?' she says, raising an eyebrow. I do my best puppy dog/innocent face.

'Please just one hug?' I plead. Then I have an idea.

'It would really annoy Jamsie' I add, in a sing-song voice. She still looks confused but finally gives in. Ha no woman can resist the Sirius-charm.

'Fine, one hug' she sighs. I put my arms around her, then quickly pull out one strand.

'OW! Black what the hell was that for?' she demands as we pull away.

'Er, I um, look there's a thing!' I shout, pointing somewhere behind her before legging it back up to the common room.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed that chapter, I'm so glad I got this chapter finished. I have my lovely French homework to see to now. Yay. I will upload soon guys. R&amp;R please.**


	5. Chapter 5: a concoction

Chapter five; a concoction

I have everything I need, now I just need to set my plan in motion.

Lets see here:

Polujuice potion - Check!

One Lily hair- Check!

Lacy black lingerie- Check! (don't ask where I got it from- I'll never tell!)

Well that seems to be everything. As I walk into the common, I notice Prongs moping in the corner. But don't worry, he'll soon be as happy as Moony in a chocolate factory. I have the potion upstairs in my trunk, so I try to pass by him without him noticing me. Then again, he looks so deep in his own misery that only dancing hippogriff could shake him out of it. Or maybe Evans in lacy black underwear (hehe).

When I finally do get up into the dormitory, I change into the underwear that was hidden under my bed. Okay, I borrowed it from Marlene! That's right folks, I have an accomplice. I told Marlene my plan and she was more than happy to help.

She gave me the underwear and is now occupying Evans, so while pretending to be Evans, the real one doesn't accidentally walk in on us. Because, really I don't think I would be able to face her again if that were to happen. Plus I don't think that Prongs will be too happy if he finds out the truth. On the other hand he could be thrilled with having two Lily's.

So yeah I'm changing into the lingerie first before I turn into Evans, so I don't have to strip in her body (contrary to common belief, I am not a pervert- especially when it comes to girls that my mates like).

Oh Merlin! This is tight. Where's that blasted potion? I cant breathe! Aha! Found it.

Now I add the Lily hair, and voila! The potion has changed from mushy grey to a rich auburn colour.

Now to drink it. Gulp! Oh that's vile- I think I'm going t be sick!

I drop the glass, and it smashes on the floor as I dash to the bathroom. Yuck! Never again! Never _ever _again!

**A/N: Bonjour mon amis! I am so sorry I haven't uploaded sooner- I've been really busy with homework and mock exams. Hope you like this chapter, please R&amp;R!**


	6. Chapter 6 Happy bithday James!

**Okay, we should get one thing straight, that I am never going to be good uploading on time and for that I apologise. Now onto the story! Please R&amp;R**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...**

Chapter six: Happy Birthday James

Checking myself out in the mirror... Wow I look HOT! I can totally see why James has chased after the girl for so long. I also borrowed a pair of strappy heels from Marlene.

I put them on and stand up. How the bloody hell are girls supposed to walk in these? They are so uncomfortable. I swear on my life, I will never mock anyone wearing heels again. Merlin, my feet are sore.

I remember watching a muggle program at Moony's house once. What was it called? Strict go dance? I cant remember. The girls on there were dancing. IN HEELS. They must be some kind of gods. Or goddesses, sorry ladies!

As much as I look gorgeous, I shouldn't risk going down to the common room. Rumours will fly, and even though I'm not particularly fond of Evans, I'm not that mean.

Plus James would kill me if he found out. My life is too precious of that. I mean, come on, what would my friends do without me? They would DIE of boredom.

So I call my owl over, and send a note to Prongs, telling him to come up to the boys dormitory. For a special birthday surprise! Such a good friend *wipes tear from eye*.

I can hear coming up the stairs. And now I'm nervous. Oh God, what am going to do? He cant see Lily like this. And Lily I mean me.

So I do the only thing I can think of. I hide. Oh to HELL with these heels. I kick them off and dash under the bed.

I hear him open the door.

'Hello?'

Don't move. Don't breathe. Don't make a sound.

'Bloody prank' I hear him mumble. Oh no! He's leaving!

'Wait!' I suddenly yell. I crawl out from under the bed, stand up and face him.

'Sirius? why the bloody hell are doing in ya underwear? _Girls _underwear?'

Oh. The potion has worn off. Great! BEAUtiful!

'um...' I mumble 'Happy birthday James!'

**The End! **


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